Wow, it has been a month...

since I posted here. A busy, but interesting month. I have spent this time working on catching up my lessons from Soul Restoration I class - during the lessons online, I lost my uncle in January and then my dad died on February 10th. I helped my mom deal with some of that and came home, only to be "let go" from my job due to a corporate buy out and their $$ issues. I felt overwhelmed, angry and lost. I decided to get back to my Soul Restoration work, as a sort of therapy. As a family therapist, I often use art activities in my therapy and it is the primary therapy for ME when I am feeling a need to counter-act burn-out. I had NO IDEA the affect this would have for me personally. The Brave Girls were wonderful, extending the time to work on the projects. The videos and lessons stretched me and helped me face the loss and anger. I recognized how negative I had become through things at work - working 55-60 hours a week without comp time, no time for husband, family, faith and art. The death of an uncle had brought up issues of the past that were surprisingly painful - pain thought to be long ago dealt with. Loss of a father brought up the issues of conflict between us and the need to deal with that. Anger over the job, which left unaddressed would lead to more anger, bitterness and negativity if allowed to fester, was addressed. I threw myself into the lessons and my faith - faith being a major part of the artwork as I went. I rediscovered self - became incredibly light, vibrant, joyful. The video in lesson 6 is incredibly, breathtakingly emotion-filled - lighting the candles- we are the light to the WORLD and need to spread joy and light into every life we touch! It brought the soul back to where it began... I regained my energy and enthusiasm - I have thrown myself into touching others in each and every way possible to bring the light and joy to them - from words and deeds to dreams and plans to benefit those around me. With this renewal has come a return to the heart that lead me to be a therapist in the first place - to help the hurting heal. I have begun to dream of a private practice where through therapy and kindness, creativity can be born and hurting people can heal and grow - to have the lives they have never dreamed possible. Steps are being made to work to make it a reality. In the meanwhile, I am interviewing for jobs to help support my family as we work together toward this dreamed of practice. I go to these interviews with more confidence, asking God to choose the position He wants me to take to be of the most benefit to others. Just think of how, from pain, this wonderful course was created (like giving birth) and how you have nurtured it, Melody and Kathy - and as you reached out to the 1400+ women who took this course, you lit that many candles - and those women will continue to nurture one another and light each others candles, when they flicker and threaten to go out. They will reach out and kindle the lights of those not reached by the class directly and spread the words and light of the class to them...and those women will continue to spark the flame. The flame will become a fire within us and within others to create a world of love, respect and kindness - let it be a fire that will never go out and will gradually spread and take over the world - that we will walk in the light and not in the darkness - that we will know love and joy and peace.... That is what the course meant to me - not just the projects - the real project was inside - our hearts - and while we altered pages, we really altered ourselves - we altered and mended our worn hearts - you have passed on amazing blessings to all you have touched, many of whom you have not met...who you may never meet...but you will know them by their love...God bless you richly....we love you deeply.....Kim

Big winds...

bring in March. I sit and watch the leafless trees swaying as the wind pushes in fiercely. They are dark against the stormy sky. Still, it is a wonder to watch from inside the house, where the wind is not touching me. The view of the shadowy mountains in the dim morning light gives me a sense of solidness and safety. God, the maker of the mountains and the trees and the wind, is in control. And I am not. I know that is a good thing.

Today, I leave the safety of this place that so holds my heart - leave to travel to where I came from - to Florida - to provide support to my mother as she (and all of us) transition to a life without my father. Hard for her - painful even - but she has weathered worse and will get through this. Iam sure her heart will be bruised and slightly broken - but she is stronger than she looks and she can build on the strengths of her past to move forward into a positive future. Meanwhile, we will try to help guide and protect her from the harshness of some realities and strengthen her to stand on her own - never alone, because we will keep our promise to take care of her.

I will return quickly - the separation from here brief. I will be back to the earth and to the mountains that strengthen me. I will miss it and feel dispossesed until I return - but return I must. Though pieces of me walk the earth outside my body in the form of my children and those I love, here I have the one I love most with me and I know I am where I belong. Those pieces - my satelites - spin in their own worlds now and I must respect that, honor that and support it with my love and prayers. Each of us must be where we are meant to be. My place is here.

SO much is happening here in our little woods - trees are budding, crocuses popping out their heads. The blueberries, plums and pears are budding. No fruit this year, but next, I am sure. The garden in my mind will be taking seed next week and in the weeks to come. Our organic vegetables and herbs, the flowers to come....

We have been adopted by a cat - I say we, but I really mean me, since DH is so allergic. She is a big black and white with a large head. She is a hunter and obviously a successful one. She landed here to lounge on the furniture outside and drive the Bumble Lab mad. She is elegant, but fierce and loves attention, rubs and being addressed. I have named her "Stinky Paws" (Stinky for short) as she has a habit of sniffing her paws and shaking her head when she goes to groom, as though her paws smell. She is not "ours" as we do not feed her (though I have been tempted to give her treats now and again - still resisting) but she is here on our land much of the time. In her hunts, she keeps down our rodent and squirrel population some - mostly mice, I think. She is not old, yet not young - about 3 years or so, I think. She drives the neighbors' pets mad too, and seems to enjoy it all. So she is a "stinker" in another way as well.

Well, off to pack and then off on the trip. Still praying for a job to come through. It is in God's hands - but then again, isn't everything?

Be blessed.
Kim